- published in 2017 from my previous blog -
Do you ever look back at some of your past & think, "wow that feels like a whole other life?"
That's how I feel when I think back to my college years and the few years past graduation. For those of you who aren't aware, I was married before and to spare you the saga that is that relationship I'll tell you this: there was lying, cheating & stealing all on his part.
I don't often get very religious or spiritual, but I can honestly say that someone was looking out for me. I can distinctly remember looking at my wedding ring and asking God to give me a sign. I was begging for any type of sign to make my decision to leave easier. I don't think it was even two days later, I found out about the cheating. And still, I was so determined to 'only be married once' that I still fought for that relationship. When the time came and I finally found my self-worth and got the courage to leave the horrible situation I was in, it was by the grace of God that I left when I did. He had been out of my life for six months when I made the decision and had I waited one more week, I would have been trapped once again...
1 year ago, I shared this to Facebook:
5 years ago today, I was packing & moving my life from what I thought was my dream home ...Who would have thought that 5 years later I would be a homeowner myself & not missing that house or life one bit 💁🏻It really goes to show that even when your life takes a turn for what you think is the worst, keep moving forward because you never know what's waiting just beyond the horizon
Photo posted to Facebook 3.14.16
Sitting here right now, thinking about where I was six years ago, I don't recognize that life, I don't recognize the person I was. It feels like someone else's memory that was implanted into my brain - but it was my life. & I will be forever grateful for whatever part those circumstances had in leading me to where I am and who I am today. And that God gave me all the signs I needed to carry on with my life with a completely clear conscience. & now I've been given the chance to love again with the person I know I was meant to spend the rest of my life with.
I hope that if you've read this and you're struggling to find your self-worth that you start doing one thing every morning. Look yourself in the mirror and tell yourself, "I am beautiful, I am smart, I am kind, I am worthy, I am important" and keep saying it until you believe it.
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