What People Don't Tell You About Pregnancy Until You're Pregnant - First Trimester (published 2019)

 - published in 2019 from my previous blog - 

After getting a positive pregnancy test your world changes whether you like it or not. You start to imagine what that little one will look like, when he'll arrive, what you'll look like pregnant at events on the calendar, what theme you want to do for a nursery, what names you and your partner will agree on (or not), what prenatal vitamins should you take, what foods should you eat (or avoid), when will your doctor see you - the questions are truly endless....

1) YOUR DOCTOR WON'T SEE YOU FOR A MONTH+

When we found out we were pregnant, I was so excited to call and make that first doctor's appointment only to be told that the doctor won't want to see us until 8-9 weeks. It was so disappointing considering thanks to modern medicine we found out we were expecting at 4 weeks. Buckle up for that.

If you want some peace of mind, there are places outside of your OB where you can get ultrasounds (paid out of pocket):

- First Glance, Cleveland

- Ultrasona, Columbus

2) "EVERY PREGNANCY IS DIFFERENT"

You're going to hear these words an agonizingly amount of times, and if you're anything like me you'll want to pull your hair out each time. You'll want to question friends pregnant or with babies about what to expect, and research what symptoms you might experience and when. All of that is well and good except that their experience won't necessarily be yours and it's incredibly frustrating when you're wondering and worrying is what I'm experiencing normal. More times than not, yes...but sometimes no. Just breathe.

3) THE THOUGHT OF BEING PREGNANT IS CONSUMING

I think this statement is true whether you're in that 2-week-long cycle where you're waiting to find out you are/aren't pregnant or you're in the first trimester. During our first pregnancy, I remember going to the bathroom and every time thinking, "OMG - no period still! How flipping crazy! I'm pregnant!" Now that we're in the phase of waiting to find out if we are expecting, I'm doing kegal exercised in the bathroom to encourage my cycle to come if it is (sorry, TMI). It's absolutely insane how many daily activities make you think about your pregnancy ... don't even get me started if you're a habitual Pinterest-er or Etsy shopper. It helps me to remember "what will be, will be." There's no changing what is already planned either by science or God (whatever you relate to).

4) CRAMPING & BLEEDING IS NORMAL

Cramping and bleeding during early pregnancy can happen for any number of reasons (implantation, a tiny tear in the placenta, uterine stretching, etc.) and is usually no cause for alarm. Does that stop us from worrying? Heck no! Until we know the reason, it's likely our minds will go to the worst case scenario - that's just life.

See #1 for the peace of mind ultrasound options in Cleveland and Columbus, OH.

In my experience cause for alarm is when bleeding is heavy and paired with sharp cramps - worse than period cramps. If you experience this, call your doctor.

5) 1/4 PREGNANCIES END IN LOSS

This isn't necessarily a statistic I was familiar with as someone who has spent her entire adult life trying not to get pregnant. And when you hear one in four that sounds like a lot,  but unless you have some perspective sometimes the statistic doesn't quite feel real. It was only after I opened up about our pregnancy loss that other women came out of the woodwork and I actually felt the truth of one in four. Which unfortunately explains #1. This is a heartbreaking thing to go through, but one that I try to believe saves us from something far worse than an early miscarriage (ie. a child with severe birth defects, a stillbirth, etc).

I asked my Instagram followers what was something they were surprised to find out post-conception and here's what they said:

Why am I sharing? This is borderline depressing?! 

Because in January 2019 when we got our first positive pregnancy test I was shocked and amazed at how little I really knew going into this phase of life. I'm sharing because I hope to enlighten other women who are expecting or hoping to soon so they aren't as blindsided as I was.

As always, keep the faith.

If I missed something you experienced and were shocked by (in the first trimester), please comment below! I'd be interested to hear it!

Chicken & Broccoli

- published in 2017 from my previous blog -

Ingredients:

1 lb chicken, cut into tenders

1 bundle of broccoli, florets cut off the stems

1c. soy sauce

1 tbsp. coconut oil

1 tsp. ginger spice

2 c. brown rice, cooked

Directions: 

In a pot, add coconut oil & add chicken. Once chicken is seared on both sides, add soy sauce, ginger spice and add broccoli florets. While that's simmering, cook brown rice according to instructions. Broccoli & chicken are done when broccoli is cooked to your liking (tender or slightly crisp)!

If you try this recipe, comment & let me know what you think!

Why the Two Week Cycle to Pregnancy is Hard (published 2019)

 - published in 2019 from my previous blog - 

When I decided to share my miscarriage, I thought there would be a subsequent blog post about our experience every once in a while, but here I am writing my third blog post in a row on the topic.

I recently listened to a book on Audible called Unf*ck Yourself (by Gary John Bishop) and chapter 5 was ALL about accepting uncertainty. How people CRAVE prediction and we're always looking ahead for certainty. We want to know what to expect, where to go, what's going to happen when we get there.

When I listened to it the first time, I initially thought about the uncertainty of changing jobs (I'm not - FYI), but now that I'm in this phase of uncertainty. Will I be pregnant this month? Next month? Or the month after?!? I decided to listen again...

And I'm feeling compelled to share some of the take-aways:

Uncertainty is where things happen. It's where we experience new things and grow. If I want to keep my heart safe (and my sanity), I would decide not to risk another miscarriage. I would decide the stress of trying to get pregnant was too great...

But then what???

Instead, I'm leaning into the uncertainty and trying to fight through it. I have moments of wanting to know so badly if this is the month for us but then I also have moments of "what will be, will be." Both thoughts completely human.

I wish I had some sort of wisdom or divine advice for others going through this with me, but I don't. I've found myself peeing on pregnancy sticks before it was scientifically possible for it to be positive. I've read into every cramp and bout of fatigue. And this is just our first month trying so I haven't even touched on the hardships of disappointment...

At the risk of sounding condescending, I want to take a moment to acknowledge the women who have been enduring this 2-week cycle for any length of time. Keep the faith.

Unstuffed Peppers

- published in 2017 from my previous blog -

For some reason the idea of cooking the filling, stuffing the peppers and then baking them seems daunting to me. I'd much prefer chop everything up and throw it in a pan & with this recipe, that's exactly what you do!

Ingredients:

1 lb ground turkey or lean beef

3-4 green peppers

1 white onion

16oz can of crushed tomatoes

Goya seasoning

2 c. brown rice

Directions:

Chop peppers and onions. In a pot, add turkey and veggies. Once the turkey is cooked through, add canned tomatoes and Goya seasoning to taste. Cook brown rice according to the packaging. Once the rice is cooked you can either mix everything together in the pot or you can serve the rice and add the pepper mixture on top! 

The last time I made this recipe, I even slipped in some spinach for extra dark leafy green nutrition (ha, Kev!). If you make these unstuffed peppers let me know what you think!

Unexpected Triggers (published 2019)

 - published in 2019 from my previous blog - 

At the moment I'm writing this I haven't told the world that I had a miscarriage; however, I'm confident I'm not the only one to feel this way so I'm documenting to share it later...

Never in a million years did I think that the trauma of having a miscarriage would trigger me on Valentine's Day, but it did.

I went to Walgreens to find a last minute gift for Kevin & while I was walking the aisle it dawned on me that I already got him a card. I picked it up when we were pregnant & had every intention of writing something sweet about expecting our first child (trigger #1)...then in the check-out line the woman in front of me had a 6-7 month bump (trigger #2).

I tried to put the grief out of my mind & focus on the fact that we're now clear to be romantic (sorry fam)... except that when I got home I had to write in his card. I wanted to express my love & appreciation for him without being super specific & bringing our night together to a dark place. So I wrote something meaningful & not overly sad, but as he opened the card I couldn't stop the tears from coming. All I could think of was what he would have read had we not miscarried.

Thankfully Kevin knew what I needed before I did. He just held me & let me cry it out....

I want to journal this for healing purposes, but also to let anyone reading know that trauma triggers are everywhere & I'm not sure that the they ever go away. But I do know it's OK to feel what you feel: the sadness, jealousy, anger... all of it.

& I have to add after sharing my miscarriage publicly, I now know without a doubt I'm not alone & neither are you - whatever it is you're going through...

Western Egg Muffins

- published in 2017 from my previous blog -

This recipe is AMAZING! and extremely versatile. If you don't like it 'western' just swap out a few ingredients & you can make it however you like!

Ingredients:

6 eggs

2c. egg whites

1 lb breakfast turkey sausage

1/2 green bell pepper, diced

1/2 onion, diced

1 c. pepperjack cheese

2 tbsp Goya Adobo, to taste

1 jalapeno, optional

Extra virgin olive oil (evoo) cooking spray

Directions:

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Wash and dice veggies. Brown turkey and add veggies until veggies are soft. In a large mixing bowl, mix eggs, turkey, peppers, onions, cheese and Goya. Spray muffin tin with evoo and then pour mixture in using a 1c. measuring cup. I like to slice the jalapenos side-ways and add them on top so 1) it looks pretty and 2) so people are very aware this dish could have a kick. Bake for 25-35 minutes until eggs are cooked through. You can test this by sticking a toothpick in the middle and if it comes back out clean, you're good to go. Once removed from the oven, I like to take a knife and go around the edges then let the eggs cool before taking them out. 

You can make these even healthier by using less eggs, more egg whites.

 Pour mixture into muffin tins & top with jalapeno slice

Let cool before taking them out, this tends to help with sticking

I hosted a girlfriend's Bachelorette party brunch where I made 2 other versions of this: bacon, egg and cheddar cheese and vegetarian. It was so great because I made them a day or two prior, left them in the fridge and simply reheated them in the microwave and they were as good as the day I originally made them. 

Mallorey's Bachelorette Brunch! Western, Bacon Egg & Cheese and Vegetarian Egg Muffins

If you end up making this recipe I'd love to hear what you thought or how you altered it!

Sharing the Hard (published 2019)

- published in 2019 from my previous blog - 

I went back & forth on how, when & if I would share this experience, but over the past few weeks I've found that speaking my truth feels so much better than keeping it in.

Right after New Years Kevin & I found out we were expecting, and after a short four weeks those dreams of a September baby were shattered with a miscarriage. 

Since then I've talked to numerous women who have gone through pregnancy heartaches all across various spectrums. Thank you to those who have opened up to me, it means a lot and you've helped me heal more than you know.

Going into our pregnancy I knew the odds were 1 out of 4 women miscarry in the first trimester, but I didn't really feel the weight of it because I didn't personally know many who'd experienced it (or so I thought). So I feel compelled to share this on a large, social media-scale because talking about it and knowing I'm not alone has helped.

I realize every person and couple is different when it comes to making a pregnancy or miscarriage public, so if you're the type of person to keep it in and handle it with your partner, do that. For me, hearing other women's experiences and perspectives helped greatly. If you're not healing from a trauma, try opening up about it - talk to friends, a support group, a therapist. Honestly, I'm in therapy and actively talking about our loss. It sucks and it sucks every day, but I know I'm healing because the sucking sucks a little less every day. 

Thanks for reading. Thanks for caring. 

Turkey Meatloaf "Muffins"

- published in 2017 from my previous blog -

This recipe is one of my favorites for Sunday meal prep. These turkey meatloaves are cooked in large muffin tins that make the perfect portion and I'm able to trick my fiance by disguising a serving of veggies as meat! Leave a comment if you try this recipe, I'm interested to hear what you think!

Ingredients:

1lb ground turkey
1/2 sweet onion, minced
1/4 green bell pepper, minced
2 eggs
1/2 c. organic quinoa
1 tbsp Goya Adobo
Extra virgin olive oil (evoo) cooking spray

Directions:

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Cook quinoa according to directions and let cool. Mince veggies and combine with ground turkey, eggs, cooled quinoa and Goya. Spray muffin tin with evoo cooking spray then divide the meat mixture evenly into the cups. Cook for 40 minutes until turkey is golden. Optional: add spaghetti sauce when there's 10 minutes left to cook.

Recipe can be edited to include any type of veggies. My favorites are any bell pepper (minced), zucchini (grated), carrots (grated) - whatever you like! & they're good with whole wheat pasta, spaghetti squash or just as "meatloaf" with sweet potatoes and broccoli. 

Our Future Is Greater Than Our Past (published 2017)

- published in 2017 from my previous blog -

Do you ever look back at some of your past & think, "wow that feels like a whole other life?"

That's how I feel when I think back to my college years and the few years past graduation. For those of you who aren't aware, I was married before and to spare you the saga that is that relationship I'll tell you this: there was lying, cheating & stealing all on his part.

I don't often get very religious or spiritual, but I can honestly say that someone was looking out for me. I can distinctly remember looking at my wedding ring and asking God to give me a sign. I was begging for any type of sign to make my decision to leave easier. I don't think it was even two days later, I found out about the cheating. And still, I was so determined to 'only be married once' that I still fought for that relationship. When the time came and I finally found my self-worth and got the courage to leave the horrible situation I was in, it was by the grace of God that I left when I did. He had been out of my life for six months when I made the decision and had I waited one more week, I would have been trapped once again...

1 year ago, I shared this to Facebook:

5 years ago today, I was packing & moving my life from what I thought was my dream home ... 

Who would have thought that 5 years later I would be a homeowner myself & not missing that house or life one bit 💁🏻

It really goes to show that even when your life takes a turn for what you think is the worst, keep moving forward because you never know what's waiting just beyond the horizon

Photo posted to Facebook 3.14.16

Sitting here right now, thinking about where I was six years ago, I don't recognize that life, I don't recognize the person I was. It feels like someone else's memory that was implanted into my brain - but it was my life. & I will be forever grateful for whatever part those circumstances had in leading me to where I am and who I am today. And that God gave me all the signs I needed to carry on with my life with a completely clear conscience. & now I've been given the chance to love again with the person I know I was meant to spend the rest of my life with.

I hope that if you've read this and you're struggling to find your self-worth that you start doing one thing every morning. Look yourself in the mirror and tell yourself, "I am beautiful, I am smart, I am kind, I am worthy, I am important" and keep saying it until you believe it.